1.5 Beta readers are people too

The history of a Golden Beta:

I've been occasionally offering my services to other authors as a beta since I was about 16. It is a good way to learn to read critically and helps to forge relationships among the literary types. When I was younger, I would focus on grammar, give brief overviews of what I liked and end it at that. Over the years I found that asking questions prompted authors to respond better and I developed a sort of questioning technique for when I found problems in writing to prompt an author to address the underlying reason for the questions.

The right Betas.

Beta reading has very little reward unless you are doing it for money- and a good beta should be reading genre that you are writing for predominantly. I learned the hard way that someone who isn't interested in urban fantasy doesn't have a lot to say about your werewolf murder mystery in Los Angels.

Betas normally take on a novel that interests them and is in a genre they like.

What not to respond to a Beta with.

This rant began to brew a few days ago when I volunteered to beta for someone who had written a genre and theme that I was enamoured of. I spotted it while looking for someone to beta for my own completed novel and I believe in giving back when I am on the lookout for these things.
I'm not going to tell you anything about the novel, as it would be unprofessional (and especially because I shouldn't complain in the first place,) but I will tell you that it lacked in areas and I picked much of it apart.

I spent five hours recording feedback, impressions and offering advice whether I felt appropriate. I went out of my way not to write anything deliberately hurtful or cruel, although I was probably blunt in many spots. I wasn't used to having to commit the level of response back that the novel required- it had quite a number of spots I found lacking- but I was thorough and finished, feeling like I had provided the author with a really valuable tool to improve. Others probably would have stopped after the first few chapters, but I soldiered through the whole novel because I wanted to fulfill my commitment.

What followed was a torrent of passive-aggressive abuse, arguing and crying from this author.

I didn't like the story, I was dictating genre laws, I didn't understand the characters, I was trying to force the author to conform to a wrong majority. It's been four days and I'm still receiving responses telling me how wrong everything I said was.

At first, I tried to assure the author that I was doing the task of a beta reader- asking questions, pointing out errors, giving my impressions of characters, plot, providing the essential feedback that one needs before final revisions and then sending on to editors for requests.The author had apparently had beta readers in the past- I imagine the sort I've had that told me 'it's great' without providing any useful feedback- but I soon realized that the author didn't understand beta'ing.

I had been called in the beta read after the author had begun submitting to publishers. Part of the whiplash to my critical notations was that 'other people would see these comments and react badly to them.' The author picked the medium of how I would access the manuscript; on a public website that functioned not unlike FF.NET or Wattpad.

I not only wasted 5 hours of time painstakingly writing out feedback and thoughts and pointing out errors to fix for revision so she could polish the novel, I had wasted an hour or two after that in trying to defend myself from the author's backlash. The worst part is, I am exactly the audience the author would want to be targeting- I like that genre, I like the themes, premise, ideas. I am a tough reader, but certainly not the toughest.

If you are not able to take criticism or correction, don't get a beta.

If you feel a need to explain something to your beta reader, and you find yourself ranting at them; maybe they have a point? If it wasn't clear in the text and raised the questions, instead of screaming and posting aggressive notations on twitter, consider why it wasn't clear. Look at your writing critically.

You cannot expect everyone to like a piece of writing, and you cannot expect to avoid negative comments in general. You need to learn to deal with this.

I can remember the first time I got feedback from a beta-reader.

I was shocked by the typos, the errors she pointed out. I thought my work was perfect, and suddenly it wasn't. She said 'expand on the setting here,' and I wanted to rant at first. luckily, I'd read a tutorial that said to leave it a few days before emailing her anything back. My temper subsided, I calmed and when i did respond, I thanked her for her time.

I've had beta readers tell me 'yeah, it's good' and nothing else. I've had them rip me apart. The best are the ones who spend a few hours telling me what was good, what was bad, and where I lost them. A beta reader should come before final revisions- then you should send it for publishing.

Asking for a beta reader while you are querying says you aren't ready to query yet. (of course, deciding to stop querying  and running back to have something re-read isn't against the law or anything)

But asking someone to go over your work and provide full honest feedback and point out anything they can is not the way to generate reviews on a public website with the hopes that we'll have nothing bad to say, is wishful at best. If you are new to writing and afraid of public criticism, ask the beta to send you comments privately or send the manuscript as a document.